If you want to be depressed, why not talk to me for about half an hour ?

Fucked up. I just stood in my room for half an hour on a chair with my light switch string tied around my neck. Contemplating it. Contemplating everything. Contemplating pushing the chair over. I don't know why. I haven't felt too bad recently, I've only cut about once a day, that's good compared to what I normally do. Fuck. I just don't fucking know why. Why do I want to die ? Why do I hate everything ? Why the fuck didn't I do it ? Sorry for contaminating the internet with my useless suicidal ramblings, I don't expect you..whoever you are...to care. Life is fucking pointless. This isn't even living, I'm just here, breathing, waiting for death. I'm nothing. Nothing's fucking real. I just want to die. ~